Click for menu
Philip Ruddock's Welcome to boatpeople

I stopped the boats, said J Winston BSM

A monologue by James Redknapp

"I stopped the boats. Yes, it was I - not Peter, Philip, Amanda or any of those other obsequious sycophants who surround me. Not even the Navy, the Bureaucracy, the Coast Guard, Beazley or Hanson ... it was only me, Winston. I kept the faith ... and did my bit to turn the clock back ... to pre-March 1966 Australia."

(Oh, those halcyon days before Hubert Opermann's announcement)

"My place in history is now assured. When the inevitable statues will be built, all over the boundless plains of this Island Continent, they will surely have these immortal words on each base - "He stopped the Boats!" If it was ancient Egypt, they'd erect a few Obelisks too, to list all my other accomplishments. Since I have taken credit for stopping the boats, I can also take credit for all of these other achievements as well. They could be considered as ribbons ... to decorate my Boat Stopping Medal!"

I stopped the boats

by James Redknapp
September 2004

For the benefit of future scribes, and for posterity, I describe some of these 'ribbons' below.

It is clear, from the above decorations, that I am Australia's greatest ever 'wartime' leader. I have done all I can to change the soppy image of a sunburnt Lucky Country peopled by warm-hearted folk from many cultures. Now we are known for our cold, calculated decisions made by 'Men of Steel'.

The misguided minority in Australia, who rant & rave about humanity, values, Truth, the brotherhood of all mankind! ... will I am sure, be of minor significance when election day dawns. My supporters in the 'mainstream', who have absolute TRUST in me, will ensure I triumph again.

I can then continue on the path to purge this Nation of its very heart and soul, so that "this commonwealth of ours, will be renowned of all the lands!"

J Winston, BSM